Sometimes I wonder if life as a college student is possible without parties and drinking and sex and obsessing about physicality. I know this is a foolish thought, and as I look around at the majority of my friends it becomes clear that this life is possible, but sometimes it's so overwhelming to be the minority. Looking through photos of other girls faking their happiness with Coors bottles in their hands has a funny way of making me feel inferior, which is interesting because I know the happiness they're attempting to portray is fake, or at least temporary. I thank God that life like that doesn't appeal to me.
I also thank God that I am learning to rest in my uniqueness. I am well aware of how I'm "different" as my grandma might say. I recognize the fact that I have more friends that are in their 30's and 40's than my own age. I realize that the choices I make don't make me cool as much as they make me the good daughter. I'm aware that most people still see me as a kid, even though I'm twenty years old. I know all of this, and i know that some people would rather die than walk a mile in my shoes because i have no relevance at the end of the day or because heads don't turn when I walk through a door. But what many of them are missing is true life. True breath and joy and peace and laughter. Honesty and love with no agenda and beauty that isn't in the form of makeup or a good bra. And that's what I'm out to find, and i'm willing to sacrifice "the college experience" to find it.
